It is finally our time. To heal these mortal rifts. To remember each other. We couldn’t do it until now. Liberated from your pain riddled earth-suit, I can feel you again. I am no longer afraid to get close. I know you won’t hurt me now. You have freed me to love you again. In fact, I feel you protecting me. Already. That purple sunset, that’s you right? That strengthening I feel inside- that’s you too, yes? You are speaking to me, through me. You are hearticulating your love. You have much to share. I understand- it was hard to say it then, with all that mortal pain between. But I can hear you, Papa. There’s nothing in the way now. No more hatred, no more misidentification, no more fear of showing our love. Nothing to hide, nowhere to hide it. Here we are, on the bridge between our hearts, beginning the healing. We have work to do. Lots of it. This is only our first purple sunset.
It’s an odd thing. I was sure I would abuse myself for being so distant for so long. I should have done this, or that, I should have visited more. But something has happened. I am treasuring myself. Suddenly the shame game looks ridiculous. Something more infinite is infiltrating my lens. Is that you, too? You are sending waves of kindness my way? It’s you, isn’t it? Your anger is gone- all I feel is your compassionate heart. You are speaking through me: “You must love yourself, my son. You must embody your magnificence. There is no need to doubt it. I am sorry that I shamed you”.
I need your support now. I have much left to do in my earth suit. I hope you will clear the path. I hope you will keep the dark forces at bay. Your call to write lives on in me. It was never lost. You loved it forward. I will write for you, too. The world didn’t know what greatness you are made of. But I do.
Please hold me safe until it is my time to join you, Dad. One day I will meet you there, in the wordless wonder. One day we will heal it all, in the ever knowing. One day we will ride together on the wings of our love. In the meantime, rest in love, Albert Ronald Brown. I am holding your spirit safe, too.