Jeff Brown, as seen on FoxNews.com, read on Good Morning America, heard on CBS, ABC.Au, NPR & New Dimensions
  • Order ‘Ascending With Both Feet On the Ground’ Here

  • Testimonials

    • Elizabeth Lesser, Author of Broken Open, and Co-Host Oprah's Soul-Series radio
      "Anyone who has ever tried to write about the spiritual journey knows how hard it is to find words that are big yet humble enough, serious yet light enough, full of drama and awe yet also stripped down and naked. This little book pulls it off. Jeff Brown has a most marvelous way with words--you think you're reading a joke, and it turns into a profound realization. Or you're following a complex thought to completion and suddenly it blossoms into a song and dance. I love learning about life and truth and love and purpose through the wizardry of Jeff's words. I think you will too."
    • Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Bestselling author of The Invitation
      "Jeff Brown stirs the soulful imagination with words that encourage, challenge and remind us what we are and why we are here. His aphorisms- soulshaping nuggets for the journey- come from the heart of his experience. Enjoy!"
    • Katherine Woodward Thomas, bestselling author of Calling in "The One" and co-leader of the Feminine Power Global Community
      "With great wisdom, depth, humor and warmth, Jeff Brown's brilliant offering pierces through the veil of pretense, and brings us to our knees before the refreshing alter of authenticity. His musings manage to offer both an elevated, delightful and invigorating perspective as well as gift us with a grounded, solid pathway home to the most true and tender parts of ourselves. A heartwarming and heart-opening read, this beautiful little piece of art rekindles an almost childlike faith in the possibilities present, while reminding us to do the very real work to actualize them."
    • Philip Shepherd author of New Self, New World
      "This book is fabulous- provocative, encouraging, and blazing with a clear-eyed truth that bows to no icons, only to the sweet, clear song of reality itself. There are enough sparks of wisdom in this book to ignite a blaze in the soul. Exhilarating, compassionate, in-sightful, these truth-soundings will vibrate in your being long after you have put them down. This is the kind of provocative companionship I cherish."
  • Order Soulshaping Here

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  • Testimonials

    • Ram Dass, Spiritual Teacher, Best-selling auther of BE HERE NOW
      "Soulshaping does an EXCELLENT job of demonstrating how we can listen to and follow our soul's guidance in the midst of life."
    • Seane Corn
      International Yoga Instructor and Spiritual Activist
      "Soulshaping is a beautiful story of one mans spiritual journey that reveals the inspiring, yet often humbling, path of growth and self-transformation. Jeff offers us a raw, honest and humorous glimpse into the exploration of self, while also imploring us to celebrate the opening of the heart and the awakening of the soul- no matter where we are directed, what is revealed, or who shows up. I Highly recommend this book."
    • Tama J. Kieves Best-Selling Author of "This Time I Dance! Creating the Work You Love (How One Harvard Lawyer Left It All to Have It All!)"
      "This book is role call for the soul. Jeff Brown is the kind of writer that invites you to swim in gasoline and then provides a match. This is no self-help book. THIS IS A SUMMONS FROM THE MOUNTAIN TOP AND FROM THE TRENCHES. I am so grateful for Jeff Brown's journey, his absolute genius in writing, and the journey we are all on at this time."
    TESTIMONIALS

APOLOGIES TO THE BATTERED CHILD (from a parent in process)

I apologize for beating you with my fists and feet when you were small and vulnerable. I apologize for wounding your body temple. I apologize for burning your hands, breaking your finger, scarring your flesh. I simply couldn’t see you, laying there in a pool of blood and sorrow. Blinded my own repressed rage, I saw an easy mark for my aggression. I saw a new host for my pain. I now understand that my abusiveness was a smokescreen for my own woundedness. A habit entrenched early in life, it felt easier to repeat the abuse than to heal it. And, in many ways, your aliveness reminded me of my own deadness- I had to shut you down so I could remain asleep. Below it all, I had so much love for you, my sweet child. I just couldn’t manifest it. I don’t ask for your forgiveness- you must be true to your own process first- but I do ask that you grant yourself permission to heal and to live a life that is liberated from my effects.

I apologize for attempting to dim your beautiful light. It was so bright that it threatened my own unmet need for attention- who would notice me, in your enlivened presence? Although I was chronologically older than you when we had you, I was actually emotionally regressed, trapped in an unhealed primal consciousness that ruled my behavior. I had grown up in a family of love starved narcissists, each of us clamoring to see our individual reflections in a too tiny pool of validation. With our lights hidden under a bushel of shame, no one ever felt seen. Stealing other people’s light became my misguided path of self-elevation, a misplaced attempt at boosting my diminished self-concept. I am so sorry for this attack on the integrity of your being. You had every right to embody your magnificence with dignity. You had every right to shine.

I apologize for vilifying and scapegoating you. I am sorry that I actively blamed you for my own misery. I couldn’t hold my self-hatred any longer- I needed to pass it on to someone else. You were the perfect recipient for my frustration- you couldn’t defend yourself. And, I remember the worst of it- telling you that my life would have been better if you had died instead of the daughter I lost. As I read these words, I find myself almost turning away from your picture- it is too much to imagine that I could leave you with that- but I stay and face your image. I face it not because I can change what I have done, but because I owe it to you to stay in the fire of my own regret.

I apologize for mocking you and repeatedly calling you names. I should have known the scars that insults leave on a vulnerable being- mockery was fundamental to my family dynamics. In the heat of desperate survivalism, insulting each other was a momentary relief from our chronic state of hopelessness. I am sorry for perpetuating that pattern at your expense. I only wish I could reach inside of you and take back the words I left there. I know that you internalized many of those insults and believed them to be true. I know that it shaped your lens. Please know that my message was entirely my own stuff. Please know that you are beautiful in my eyes. And, more importantly, please know that you are beautiful through your own eyes. Please heal the remnants of my madness.

I apologize for turning others against you and pitting you against your siblings. Lodged in a competitive world view, my reality was divided into territories- threats and protections, enemies and friends, them and us. The demons of duality- ne’er the twain shall meet. Through this fearful lens, differences were equated with threats to survival rather than opportunities for learning. Like snorting animals on the prowl, if you didn’t behave like us, you were the enemy. Because you were so different from the rest of us, I identified you as an enemy. I forgot our biological connection, our shared humanness, our karmic engagement. I forgot the bridge that existed between our hearts.

I am so deeply sorry that I left you alone in your developing years. I apologize for abandoning you when you needed me most. I remember your cries for contact, your tireless efforts to connect, your tearful eyes through the living room window as I drove away. I looked away, but I still felt you. I just couldn’t do anything about it. In many ways, I confused you with the bad marriage that produced you, a marriage that I longed to escape from so desperately. When I had you, I was so emotionally immature. There was so little space inside me for another person’s needs. As I grow into my real adulthood, I am able to empathize with your heartbreak. In the last years, I have spent much time growing into the parent you deserved. Please know that I have taken that journey seriously.

I want you to know that I see you better now. I see the fear that I left you with. I see the ways that it impacted on your life choices, emotional availability, patterns of self-distraction. I see the ways that self-doubt prevented you from fully owning your power. Despite my madness, some part of me noticed the ways that you shut down to cope- the shallowing of your breath, the armoring of your heart, the reluctance to be seen. But I also see the ways that you overcame. I see the ways that you championed your own cause. I see the ways that you converted your fear into hope. I see how hard you worked to grow yourself. I am proud of you in ways that words can never express.

Most of the greatest achievements on the planet are unknown to others- private overcomings, silent attempts at belief, re-opening a shattered heart. The real path of champions truly lies within- the transforming of suffering into expansion, the clearing of horrifying debris, the building of a healthy self-concept without tools. The greatest achievers have found a way to believe in something good despite being traumatized and fractured on life’s battlefields. You are one of them. You overcame me. No matter what else you accomplish in your life, you are already a champion.

I am grateful that you disconnected from me many years ago instead of coming back for more abuse. You realized that I couldn’t meet your parental needs and that you had to look elsewhere. You were so very right. By choosing to protecting yourself, you also created the conditions for my own transformation. In your absence, in your determined refusal to enable my patterns, I was forced to recognize my impact. At first, I resisted the learning, but the love I felt for you penetrated my defenses and left me with no other option but to do the work. That work took me far back in time- both to our time together and to my own early life. Ah, the Power of Then- the impact of unresolved feelings on our now consciousness. Try as I did to disarm them by witnessing them, it was entirely ineffective. You cannot heal and resolve your emotional material with your mind. Your emotional material does not evaporate because you watch it. You can only heal your heart with your heart. I had no choice but to go back down the path and re-claim my feelings. In this way, you were my greatest teacher- the one who gave me back my heart.

Over the years, my own emotional armour has melted away. I have lost the energy that I once had to distract from my truth. I have grown tired of my falsity, denials and projections. And something has grown within me- a willingness to see what I have done and to acknowledge where I have failed. I don’t know if I will have another incarnation to do it better, but I want to set a loving intention before I die. I want to be living in truth when I close my eyes on this lifetime. And some part of the truth is horrifying to me. I know what I have done. I know the violence in my heart. And I know the causal factors: the desperate survivalism that plagued my family line, the shutting down of my emotional current, the build-up of resentment. But I also know that I had a choice. I could hear the voice of love calling me away during those acts of violence, but I chose to continue. I was influenced by my childhood, but I alone chose my path. Before God and before you, I am accountable for those choices.

As our society crosses the bridge from survivalism to authenticity as our way of being, I have every faith that we will one day move from love. I have done it, and I feel confident that others will follow. As part of that process, I call on all bullies to step out of their comfort zone and make determined efforts to shift their abusive paradigm. To find the courage to face the source of their rage. To break the lineage of toxic conditioning. To find constructive ways to soften their edges. To steer the collective (un)consciousness in new directions. To learn healthy ways to channel their aggression. Don’t do it only for those who you are harming. Do it for yourself as well. There is no life with a closed heart.

I do not know how God will judge me. I do not know how you will judge me. I do know that I have done all I can to own my actions and to open my heart. I am on my knees before truth. Know that I understand if you choose to remain disconnected. I truly do. You have to be true to your own process. But also know that I am here for you if ever you choose to open the gate again. Nearly 50 years late, but the way is clear.

A former criminal lawyer and psychotherapist, Jeff Brown is the author of “Soulshaping: A Journey of Self-Creation,” and the just released “Ascending with Both Feet on the Ground”. Endorsed by authors Elizabeth Lesser, Oriah Mountain Dreamer and Katherine Woodward Thomas, “Ascending” is a collection of Jeff’s most popular spiritual graffiti—quotes, soul-bytes and aphorisms frequently shared in social media. He is also the author of “Apologies to the Divine Feminine (from a warrior in transition)” and the producer and key journeyer in the new spiritual documentary- Karmageddon- which also stars Ram Dass, Seane Corn, David Life, Deva Premal and Miten. You can connect with Jeff’s work at www.soulshaping.com.

 

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Comments

Comment from Sandra
Time September 17, 2012 at 9:25 pm

I feel as if I have waited an eternal lifetime to hear this. I don’t recall ever crying this deeply in my entire life. This is momentous Jeff.

Comment from Shawn
Time September 18, 2012 at 7:51 am

Thank you Jeff, for writing this and saying what my own mother never had the insight or the courage to face, let alone say. But in reading this, I feel like she has said it. Just to see it, read it and hear it being said is valuable to my own inner child. I may just print it out and send it to her, nearly 88 years old now, she is. It may just make all the difference to her and I before she leaves this life. Thank you and bless you for all your work.

Comment from Barbara
Time September 18, 2012 at 8:44 am

I can’t even see the words anymore —–tears running down my face so hard .. so emotional – if some of those words were spoken or written for me it would have been life-changing.

Comment from Shayne Traviss
Time September 18, 2012 at 9:35 am

WOW! Hit me right in the gut… more Powerful than anything I have ever read Jeff! Bravo you hit the nail on the head with this one… TRUTH!!!

Comment from marie
Time September 18, 2012 at 7:29 pm

This not only took my breath away and was hard to read through the floods of tears, but also freed a part of me that needed that acknowledgement. thank you Jeff on many levels….. Love and Blessings to You Dear Man xx

Comment from Stan Raymond
Time September 18, 2012 at 8:19 pm

You just keep filling the voids in our hearts with nourishment Jeff. Everything that you write has a certain energy that actually does its bit to heal me. Its a frequency that is very rare. You have really helped me.

Comment from Kristy
Time September 19, 2012 at 12:59 am

Tears streaming down my cheeks in remembrance of the day 6 years ago when, after two brain surgeries my own mother was reduced to the state of being a child again, and I put my head in her lap and cried, ‘All I wanted was for you to love me.” And she hung her head and wept. Thanks Jeff, for understanding.

Comment from Oriah
Time September 19, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Love breathes ~ many blessings Jeff ~ beautiful

Comment from Pam Miller
Time September 19, 2012 at 3:17 pm

From: The child.

This is simply expiating your own guilt. This apology is for you, not me. I am already damaged beyond repair.

Comment from Phyllis
Time September 20, 2012 at 12:01 am

If only my beloved could have heard this from his abusers…maybe he would still be alive.

Comment from Anita D
Time October 4, 2012 at 7:32 am

Thank You.

Comment from liz
Time October 22, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Wow so powerful, made me cry, it also made me realise, I shall not hear/see these words written from my abusers as they are still asleep…….. However you have written all I need to hear, God Bless you Jeff.

Comment from Mark Simon
Time October 30, 2012 at 6:10 am

Beautiful, I feel as though this was written for me, in fact, I CHOOSE to believe it!! The timing is perfect, thank you to the person who had the courage to go down that path and thank you for publishing it. My Prayers and love to Pam Miller above, I feel your pain! Love to all… Mark

Comment from Isernia
Time November 10, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Thank you! Those words were written for me, and for those of us that have a heart that needs healing. It feels that I am the child that so desperately needed a mother to hug her, and choose to look the other way… my own physical mother passed away three months ago at the age of 95, and couldn’t make myself come to see her one more time, although I had done a lot of healing work, I felt that my job was done, I forgave her, although I’d never forget… and as she become part of the Spirit world again, I felt that my Karma with her was completed, but no more sadness, regrets, pain. It was done.
I wish more parents will see this before is too late, and can work towards reversing that devastating the effects of their mental and physical abuse. You are one of a KIND dear Jeff. My gratitude for all you do.

Comment from Dimitra
Time December 11, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Thank you.
Blessings!

Comment from James
Time February 10, 2013 at 8:19 pm

True repentance would only require silence and love; all of these words are just a story being told about many stories that were told about stories long forgotten about moments in tme. My story begins right now; how about yours?

Comment from Gabriel
Time April 18, 2013 at 4:27 pm

To be just considering what to eat on the caveman diet, I believed it to be bad for teeth.

Mix well and refrigerate for approximately 60
minutes until golden brown. Cow’s milk and coconut oil consumption. Depending upon your operating system the tool is automatically installed with all English-language Microsoft Outlook installation options. Gluten is a protein that regulates in tight junctions between cells in the dermis. A Flexitarian diet is different to a vegetarian diet, go without pills, and turn away from conventional medicines to natural and food-based solutions to problems.

Comment from Cherry drops
Time May 13, 2013 at 1:16 pm

This was powerful to me to read… and at perfect timing … it feels like I have been acknowledged on some level by you … in a way that my Mum or dad could and can still… never do… I have stepped away fully now and felt guilt for this… but you have given me much more confidence thank you …. What a humble man you are … that takes fucking Courage !!! God Bless you and thank you x So powerful …
God bless with love every child x

Comment from Tara
Time May 27, 2013 at 11:29 am

I’ve waited my entire life to hear such words, and even longer if I ever hope of hearing them from my parents and other abusers.
Tears of relief and joy are felt none the less, thank you.

Comment from FLo
Time August 6, 2013 at 10:53 am

OMG!!! I am speechless, crying my eyes out–relating to a SO much of it–it has spoken to my heart & soul! Thank you for speaking your truth

Comment from Anand
Time February 7, 2014 at 7:49 pm

Thank you for words from consciousness parent.

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